Really had a good time, dunch in Alfresco yesterday.

Elegant and classy ambience with well cooked dishes.

Aglio olio for me, coriander cheesy pasta for @lihui3736 , and chicken cheesy corn potatoes for @yangting0515.

Mixed fruit drink a bit exp, rm8 but goes well with the soothing atmosphere smile emoticon

Thanks for the good day!! ^^

Rotaract Club Unimas 2015

Helping people in need and spreading joy is what I learned a lot today by participating in the Sarawak Cheshire Home 2015..

Footsteps in the first fresh sunlight in front of the lawn of Sarawak Cheshire Home, I was going to start my meaningful journey in this small humble home.

The engines roared and the wheels of the bus rolled for about an hour Unimas, Kota Samarahan before we had our first view of the tiny home.

MV Logo's Hope Kuching 2015

MV Logo's Hope have finally sailed in Kuching this 2015!!

 
 Started off my weekend by inviting like crapp so many people.. always kena reject like crapp... crapp mann,, then the next week.. ppl ask me want to goo.. why whyy

I wishh I could hold  my relationn..shippss as BIGG as thiss!!
 
Paraguians!!


This flippy-flopy dude!

The lovely painting on the wall


Brazilian ladyy and ... excuse me miss. sorry I dint ask earlier...
Brazilian said her hometown is very much like Kuching as the forests are quite similiar..
and her hatt is made from real featherss!! :o

His eyess... are there vampires in Germany?


Taking a break.. time to splat my friend's face with ice cream a bit... t


Russia and United States :DD Omgg.. denimm!! -drools Mr Russia Bro.. thanks for teaching and Mei Wei that funky Russia dance xD

Gypsies decided to land on a boat.. HAHAH! jk..no idea what country is this...anyone have any idea?
 
Oii M8!! Maybe you can take me surfing one dayy!! He kind or reminds me of Mr Mosby from Suite Life of Zack and Cody.. what if hee iss really the manager??

yerr.. we camping and boiling some tasties yeaa.. Canadian style!!
 
Kimchii!! Yes pleasee!! And were go to Seoul on a tripp... :D
 

The highlight of the dayy!! I met this very friendly Paraguayian!! Just had a lovely little chatt and was soo glad to meet her!! If you're reading this Deborah Krahn!! I hope we can remain in contact even through sails and seass :D It was awesome meeting youu and mayy we have an awesome time meeting up again someday ^^

Pls leave a comment to know about my travel.. kind of rushing now :D But will update my trip later ^^

Belgian Waffles

Belgian waffles right outside Seway Summer Mall... so convenient
Tastes awesome!
Wiki:The Belgian waffle is a type of waffle popular in Europe and North America. Compared to the standard American waffle, it is identified by its larger size, lighter batter, larger squares, and a higher grid pattern that forms deep pockets.

Well this one wasnt 'biggg' but it was sureee good...

Get yours outside Sewayy.. it's veryy good ^^

Music Birds

Time to blog some shyt because i'm depressed..

 Do Ti La Do-Re La Do-Re Do So La Fa Me La
Nowww isn't this justtt cuteee?? Puffed little birds perched on the window sill to make waves and notes to chipper a sad mind... 

These are just the simple house sparrows you can see hopping about in Malaysia... which reminds me a question o.o.. what are the common birds in public places in other countries??

Malaysia can be seen with these cute fatties hopping all around perching at any rice or meals on the table!

My name is ...

My name is ..Melissa..
and I'm bad at introductions...
I dont have much to say about myself...
I suck at a lot of things...
to remember, to feel happiness, to relax, to not be able to cry, to especially receive help
noone appreciates me, noone cares,
i dont have someone who can believe in me.. when I tried so hard to be there,
i had enough... i cant believe in myself anymore... maybe what i see is myself is what i believe in myself...
i cant stand myself.. i hate myself..
Im fucking fine, I have 2 perfect pair of eyes with lovely shape, I have cute teeth , i have hair that drops down in layer waves and reacches, i have shorter height which makes it cute, I have everything a girl can want... my health is good
my grades were good, i had band 5, im quick on my toes in sports, I have funny skills and accents at times... I can make ppl laugh if i want to.. i can be a happy sport if i want to.. i like sports, i feel im improving each time..
i can draw i can dress up, i can go happy..
but one thing i cant... is make my smile change each day..
the smile in my heart is turning more and more sad..
I stretch my mouth jaws once in a while, hear it pop, i blink my eyes a lot to get it right, i try to slim my face, maybe sharp it a bit to put that more permanent fixture of smile each day..
every sharper smile, but tearing deep heart..

im getting more fearful each day... im losing confidence.. im scared... im scared noone would be there for me ... im scared people dont really care... im scared to cry... im scared to speak out.. i dont know what to believe in anymore... im scared to ..

i dont have strength each time... i fall asleep with my laptop heat seeping in my head till 3 am in my dorm room.. i get up with the lights on... i quickly rush off everything, brush my teeth, then set my alarm...

I go back to my routine of uni classes each day.. I hate it when its 8 am... I have to quickly striking mentally my brain before class starts... i get so depressed... its like a dark cloud over me ...

i cant feel the sun.. the fresh air.. sometimes its so suffocating... i have a nice airy third floor room which has a nice breeze and fresh air and lovely sun outside... i know its there... but i cant feel it...

i feel liek crying so bad everytime... i cant get a tear out.. the last time i cried... i almost choked of sadness.. my heart felt so hurt.. i could not pack for the next day of sem 2 in uni... i vomited 5 times in the evening and could not sleep for 3 hours... i woke up the next day, took a pill and vomited 3 times again..

im giving up.. but im not... im fainting at every early corner when doing work... im sleeping at 12 pms .. to get up at 3...

im supposed to be doing heaps of assignments. but im not..

i'll probably grab packets of biscuits and sugared drinks again to keep up my mood.. I hate it when this happens.. I cant control myself...

I have no true friends... people only want to come for me for help.. when i am useful and my brain still well... If theres any connections, Im as insecure as a shyt..
fucking shyt...

I'm in pain so much, i dont know what to do...
i cant make anyone proud. i cant be there for myself, WHAT THE FUCK?! WWHAT THE ACTUAL MOTHER FUCKING FUCK??? I have no self-esteem.. i got noone to depend to... i cant cry and laugh with someone .. i want to laugh with someone heartily ... to know that the stars above can be my sweet hope if guide and love...

i cant cry.. i want to cry.. most people out there want to contribute to the world.. i dont know, i dont care.. i want to cry..

Im fucking 20... I have no grip in life.. Im sad as fuck as an otter who let go of his partner.. I dont have belief... I am a lost kitten in front of a drain with green grass, fresh air,warm sun at the other end.. There's a mini mouse there,  but i cant jump.. Im scared.. the water is gushing... I look down, and see a reflection...  A broken soul , a broken heart, i cant look at myself for too long... or i might just fall down at the pavement again feeling acid tears that were never there...

I dont know where my life is heading.. im scared... i want to join aiesec so badly, but I'm scated...I'm a good influence, but noone fucking believes me... noone cares to see how deep a pain can be... noone.. because i cannot..

I'm shattered, shattered glass, everywhere inside out.. the mirror is just a thing to me... a thing to try to make myself feel better each day.. but i cant.. im sad... i m...

Starting afresh 2015..

Starting from today, 16/4 1.20 AM...

I hope to start afresh...

Yes, this post will have many edits... I will edit from time to time..

I just dont want to leave this world without a legacy

No, I'm not a hero, not a writer, not a broken, not your guide

I'm just a broken girl, shattered glass... shattered glass shown right directly in my eyes, shining bright..

I dont care how long it will take to heal... i will try my best to leave a good mark in this world

Noo... I;m not the genius who can know everything and tell you everything you need to know..

It;s a blog, a journal to write my unspoken thoughts, my upturned feelings as time goes by to certain events...

Noo.. i dont have many events in my life... my fcking head is one universe of events despite the no- events happening, just in a chair

I'm fucking 20, Im broken everywhere, like a cactus emmiting negativity everywhere, 

im broken..

this is not a Chicken Soup tale, it's a tale of trying to heal, a tale of the shytt that flies through my brain every moment..

'I'm not normal, I think like I'm drugged, like I'm not loved , I'm drunk..

there will be edits, but i promise to heal.. to try to heal... my feelings are the strongest, my eyes are the saddest, my mouth is the weakest, my dreams and hopes are the highest...

I know.. I want to heal... pls help me, pls help me learn... I'll do my best